So, I'm the kind of person who lives a very comfortable life. I work really hard to supply myself with sufficient money to sustain my life, pay my bills... etc. Taking risks is something I do not do. I wish I did, but I have this overwhelming fear of uncertainty... and it really hinders my adventurous sides want to experience life. Welp, I've been getting pretty sick of letting fear take over my life, and I decided that I needed to start doing stuff that will actually make me happy, not just keep my bills paid. So, for the first time, I put myself out there. I know it's a longshot and I know it may be wishful thinking... but it's still a HUGE step for me.
This past weekend I was notified that Farm Sanctuary had seasonal positions available... (and I've been planning out the next couple years of my life in order to take time off work to do an internship at Farm Sanctuary)... so seeing that they were hiring... I just couldn't pass up the opportunity. I spent a couple hours deciding if it was feasible and trying to figure out what I would do if I miraculously got the job... and then I stopped thinking all together and decided to, for once in my life, not worry about how it was going to work out... and just fucking go for it! I spent 2 hours filling out the application trying to make it perfect, so that they might see something promising in me. I want this job so badly, I can't even begin to describe what it would mean to me, to live on an animal sanctuary for 6 months and work directly with rescued animals and just be in that compassionate environment away from the rest of life's worries. Stop caring and worrying about myself for once and put all my focus on something I'm extremely passionate about.
So I did it. I applied for a job that I actually want. Something that will make me genuinely happy... not just something that's going to keep me financially happy. I don't know if I even have a shot in hell, but I'm going to hope for the best and be proud of myself for taking a step like that. I'm even preparing myself, just incase I do get it. Deep cleaning my room out and getting rid of everything I don't need and everything that's holding me down. I'm sick of feeling stuck in one place because of material objects weighing me down. So I'm changing that. Getting my life in order so that I can leave at any given moment, if an opportunity arises, and take it.
I'm so proud of myself and I couldn't be more happy or anxious. I feel like getting this job... would spark a whole new flame in my life. Get me going on the right path. Because I feel like if I do this... I won't be able to come back home and get settled back in with corporate america again. I know my heart won't let me do that if it realizes that there are other ways to get by.... and actually be happy doing it. So this is a start of something new and exciting.
Good luck, self. You deserve this. You owe it to yourself. Start taking risks and living life the way you see it in your heart... not the way you see it in your mind. <3